Sooner than expected. It was a pretty good weekend to start off the year. Friday I hung out with some good friends and realized that some board games can actually be much better if females happen to go out to get something to eat. And Saturday was doing what I do best in Austin. That's as far as I'm going to go. But the weekend to come has some high expectations.
Speaking of high expectations, I've been thinking a lot about this life lately. I went through a pretty rough patch last year where I just saw everything in life as a failed expectation of everything else. I don't think I've really said this to anyone, but I have this strange superiority complex that makes me think I need to be the most well known, have the most friends, get the best paying job, etc. if I ever want to have a chance at being happy. I use to think that everyone had this problem, as I passed other people who I thought I was "better" than and wondered to myself if they were happy with the lives they were living. A while ago I thought about everything and realized that things like these stupid pop songs about the fake everlasting love, those television shows that depict the unbelievable college experience where every single day seems to be awesome enough to be documented on a tv screen, the magazines that depict how people should "really" look, those "once in a lifetime" parties that you always wish you could go back to but realize that its behind you forever.....those are what's to blame for all of this. They bludgeon people with false hopes that their lives are going to be so much better than they are presently. And the only way to see past these things and to live your OWN life is some kind of pre-midlife crisis where you come to the realization that you're only going to get out of this life what you put into it. Others know it as "growing up." I call it "college."
Luckily that stuff is all behind me but I just thought it'd be nice to post remembrance of such times. Like I said, I have a a great weekend coming up, after a "I don't really know what to expect" week of school that's also coming up. Mostly checking to see if my phone will ever go off.
Monday, January 24, 2011
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Changing
So its been pretty much a whole month. Sorry about that. Um...its late and I'm tired, but I'm waiting for my iPod to charge so I'm just gonna chill here for a bit.
Home was really fun. Christmas, New Years, and Evanfest were fun times that I'll remember for as long as I go on. I already miss my buds but the first couple of days of Austin have been fun, and its been good to see everyone again.
I've only had one day of school so far but I can already tell that its going to be a busy semester. I'm not going to be on the computer much but at least I'm giving you warning before I go off and live my life without others reading about it.
Back home I started writing a much more personal blog that no on else will ever read. I'm probably going to keep writing in it until I'm around 30 or so and then read it when I'm 60 or so and laugh about what a young guppie I was back in the day.
People are starting to worry about me again. About my personal health and my workload in school and my moods and how they all somehow tie in together. I don't mind the fact that others carry about my well being, but sometimes I wish that people would just have faith in me instead. I know what I'm doing. If you think I lost weight and you're about to tell me how thin I look, remember that I worked my ass off last semester with school and that some aspects of a persons life tend to affect other parts, as well. I can only be so many people at one time. I can't be expected to go for a 4.0 and be able to work out as much as I did freshman year. I'm taking 18 hours this semester and that's only made what people say to me even worse. I wish that I could just say it was just my family but its been a lot others, too. I just want everyone know that I'm gonna ok. And if I won't be, so be it.
I'm gonna start working out again on a regular basis starting tomorrow morning, and then I'm going to find out a decent way to balance all of this classwork out.
Just have some faith in me.
Home was really fun. Christmas, New Years, and Evanfest were fun times that I'll remember for as long as I go on. I already miss my buds but the first couple of days of Austin have been fun, and its been good to see everyone again.
I've only had one day of school so far but I can already tell that its going to be a busy semester. I'm not going to be on the computer much but at least I'm giving you warning before I go off and live my life without others reading about it.
Back home I started writing a much more personal blog that no on else will ever read. I'm probably going to keep writing in it until I'm around 30 or so and then read it when I'm 60 or so and laugh about what a young guppie I was back in the day.
People are starting to worry about me again. About my personal health and my workload in school and my moods and how they all somehow tie in together. I don't mind the fact that others carry about my well being, but sometimes I wish that people would just have faith in me instead. I know what I'm doing. If you think I lost weight and you're about to tell me how thin I look, remember that I worked my ass off last semester with school and that some aspects of a persons life tend to affect other parts, as well. I can only be so many people at one time. I can't be expected to go for a 4.0 and be able to work out as much as I did freshman year. I'm taking 18 hours this semester and that's only made what people say to me even worse. I wish that I could just say it was just my family but its been a lot others, too. I just want everyone know that I'm gonna ok. And if I won't be, so be it.
I'm gonna start working out again on a regular basis starting tomorrow morning, and then I'm going to find out a decent way to balance all of this classwork out.
Just have some faith in me.
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