Ohhh baby, I'm tearing up this town.

For some reason, everytime I open my computer now (2-3 times a day) I'll look to see the amount of views my blog has but I never write anything. Well break has been good to me, unlike the majority of everyone else. Sorry that I love not having school.
But that's not really it, and you know it. Its been good to see the guys and everyone else again. I'm not used to the cold because I haven't been this cold since last winter break. To prove it, I'm wearing two jackets right meow and I'm in my heated house. And my car has been acting up the last couple of days and it makes me feel like I'm back at school when I have to ask to bum rides off people.
I got my job back at that baby store across town again. My boss said she could have me trained as a cashier and that it would let me work up to 40 hours a week. I think if this works out, I won't have/need to stay in Texas over the summer. At this point, I'm perfectly fine with that. A lot of people have been complaining about living with their parents lately, and I'm not saying that mine are saints, but being around my friends so much seems to cancel everything out.
On Friday, our entire group returned home and we celebrated our first Blackout Friday. It was definitely a dude fest, but we planned it that way because we deserve to act like fools after finally being reunited. I took a lot of memorable pictures that I don't remember, but my adaptor cord is in Texas so I guess I'll just take a poopload of pictures over break and upload the best/appropriate ones when I get back to school.
A quick week has already gone by, but luckily I have four more left, and there's plenty more to look forward too: Christmas (mainly just getting free stuff part), New Years, Winter Jousting, Evanfest 2011 (at Grand Valley State), my birthday. Its going to be a fun time and I'm already feeling sorry for the future me who has to go back and take an 18 hour semester. Fun shit.

I will see you there or I will see you another time!

The semester is over. I am a good combination of really excited, happy, ecstatic, and a little sad. The only reason that I'm sad is because I won't be in Austin for the next 5 weeks, but lucky for me, I'll get to be home with my best friends! We already have a lot of stuff planned, and it should be better than last Christmas break, and that's really saying something.
This has easily been the best semester so far in Austin. I've partied the hardest than I ever have, and I'm going to get a 4.0 even though I've had the toughest classes that I've ever had. And all of that happened without me having a car. Luckily, the part about the car changes in January.
I've also learned a lot of stuff outside of school here, but I think I covered that in the last post.
I've also met a lot more people that go to this school. Obviously I've met some freshman, but I think its also cool to meet more people that are in your grade or older. Frisbee, for example. There were a lot of seniors this year, and one, Alex, is graduating and moving back to Oregon. It was kind of weird saying goodbye...all that you can really force out of yourself is a "Good luck." But fortunately, that's life and it happens to everyone.
Thankfully, January is a whole new semester and there are going to be a ton of new people to meet, especially in my classes. However, I think its cool having the same core group in all of your classes.
I've also already started looking ahead to junior year. I've talked to a few kids here, and we're all looking to get a house for that school year. I honestly don't want to have a place where we throw a party every other weekend, but if we can throw one or two a semester, and its the kind of party that people can look back on because it exemplified their four years of college, that will be good enough for me.
Because I think that's what we're all put here for: to leave our mark on something. My only goal for these three and a half years here is to be able to come back here when I'm 35, see a building or something like that, smile, and think "That was me....I did that." I really don't know what the sight I'm looking at will be, but I'm sure I'll figure it all out one day.
But now, its time to celebrate the fact that I have no worries for the next 5 weeks (except for coming up with beer money somehow) and then to recover in time to be up by 8am tomorrow morning. I think I said this when I left home so I'll say it again: catch you on the flip side!

I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself.

Things are really looking up.
Earlier today, I just completed my last class of the semester. All I have is two more regular exams left and one final, and then its time to head home.
I've been thinking about it, and I'm pretty sure I can say that this has been the best semester yet. All I've really been doing is going out at night or doing well in school. That's a pretty wet combo.
I've learned a lot too. About myself, and about people in general. Whenever I think about things that I've done before, I thought about how much I've grown since that particular time. While just sitting here and thinking, I made a list about the changes and realizations that have happened in the past few months.
I'll never like hard liquor. Ever. Hahaha.
When I was younger, my dad told me about my grandfather's ability to treat someone one way and completely think the opposite about them. (Un?)Fortunately, I'm pretty sure that I've inherited this same trait. Over and over again, I feel like I've been treating people as if I was their best friend, and honestly thinking that they were full of shit. A lot of people might say that its important to be honest and upfront with poeple, but at the same time, I enjoy staying on good terms with everyone I know. I didn't ever want it to be a priority for everyone I know to like me or to have as many friends as possible, but I believe that all of us were brought up that way.
Also, I went to my American Experience instructor's office to talk about my socializtion paper, which has something to do with the way you were raised and how you adapted to that.....I'm not really sure, I haven't even started and the paper's due tomorrow. But anyway, the discussion was really interesting because we talked mainly about my mom. My mom always raised me to be one of those validictorians that stand up at the top of the graduation class, get a full ride to a division 1 school, get a great job, and live a better life than what I was living at the time. I slacked off a lot in high school, but not enough to keep my grades completely down. I was still National Honor Society president, got a pretty good scholarship to a small school, etc. But I haven't really had a realization to have a better life than I have until I got to college. Nowadays, school is the top priority, and when I'm not doing that, I go out at nights and try to meet as many people as possible, and just have a great time.
Its all as if I'm living my life the way it was meant to be.
That's all I really got for now....but I feel like some things are going to happen between now and the time I go home next Friday. At this point, I'm about as clueless as you might be, but things have been having a tendency to work in my favor lately, so I'll just rely on that.

Have faith in me.

Well, that's the last time I ever write a blog when I'm drunk. And not only drunk, but that "downward spiral" that girls have whenever they get too drunk and can't find their friends.
Like I said, it was a fantastic weekend. Concerts, parties, and friends, the whole time was a joyride. Now that I'm in the right state of mind, I think its safe to say that I really enjoyed spending the weekend with an assortment of differrent people. It keeps things....interesting.
I really don't know why I think having my other half at this point in time would be so vital to me. I'm 19 and I have so much more life to live its ridiculous. You're ridiculous.
So, if you haven't heard from me or looked at my facebook yet, I WAS 2 FEET AWAY FROM MAX BEMIS FOR AN HOUR AND A HALF! It was totally awesome, I pushed my way to the front and got a drumstick, a shoe, a guitar pick, held hands with Max, got sweat on by Max, and sang a whole chorus of a song when Max pointed the microphone at me. Legit.
The next day I got a free ticket and ride to go see A Day to Remember, courtesy of Garret and Julia. Luckily, I had just heard their new album 3 days before. Unluckily, they only played two songs off of it. Still a great show, though. I couldn't think of anyone better (or safer) to mosh with than Garret.
Other than that, I went to San Marcos for some epic pong action, went to West Campus and had one of the most complete nights of college since I could remember, and went from having nothing to do on the first day of break to going out and having another great night. Nice 5 day weekend, if you ask me.
Also, I'm glad I mentioned last time that I was going home in 2 and a half weeks, because I'm SO PUMPED! Time has flown by for all of us, its going to be the greatest break ever. If you're in Michigan on New Year's or during the 7th to the 9th of January, let me know because I definitely have some plans for you.
Sorry about the recollections but that's all I got tonight. Happy Thanksgiving. And go Michigan State!

Be the greatest man in the world.

For starters, don't get me wrong, I've had one of the greatest weekends of my entire life, I've seen 4 of my favorite bands up close and personal in the last two days including grabbing a drumstick, a shoe, and a guitar pick, I've been to 3 legit parties and one that pretty much changed the way I view college as a whole, thanks to how we went from not having a party to go to, to one of the best parties that any of us have ever been to.
Even Jacob acknowledged that this has been one of the greatest weekends of my life. I'm going to go home in a couple weeks, finally getting to see my best friends who I was supposed to skype tonight. God, I love them.
But I'm still not happy. "He hates his life when he's sober" (I still remember that, Jacob). I still feel like there's a key part missing that I can't erase. And it's easier to explain if you can imagine this:
Every aspect of this weekend that has made it so awesome, it has been with a different group of people, except Jacob has been with me 2 of the 5 nights, he is the only exception.
I feel like I still need to find that one person to share with every moment of true happiness I endure. Without it, I'll feel the same way that I do now. And that just won't do.
I hope you understand what I'm getting at. Believe it or not, I am horribly intoxicated at the moment, and its best I go to sleep. Happy Thanksgiving!

A phone, 50 cents, and I'm building up my confidence

I'm running on 11 hours of sleep for the entire weekend but I just wanted to say that I just stood front row at one of the greatest concerts of my life. More on all of this another day.

Met her at a party and I took her home, she is the saddest girl that I have ever known.

So I wasn't back as quickly as I had hoped to be.....I was planning to blog on Saturday night but we decided to go to a party at the last second, and it was actually one of the better nights I've had this semester. I thoroughly enjoyed every aspect of the night. And I just want to throw out there that I think its pretty cool that Jacob is single. I think if I go any farther than that people will think less of us. Maybe just me. I don't know.
Anyway, last Thursday, we walked down South Congress because it was the first Thursday of the month, and I have to say that it might have been the best sober night I had since I was home. I don't know if that's the characteristic of an alcoholic. I don't think so. But I'd be lying if I said that it doesn't worry me. Haha.
Speaking of home (I think I did this with the last blog), over the summer, Mike showed me postsecret.com. Its site where people mail in postcards with their secrets written on them, and its all anonymous. I hadn't really looked at it until I got to Austin and I have those weeknights when I'm up thinking til 4am. Anyway, a lot of the secrets are pretty bearable, like missing someone really bad if they're overseas, or wishing to get back together with an old flame. But some of the things these people are hiding are just incredible. There were a couple about one spouse having an affair with someone who was extremely close to the other spouse, or thoughts about one's own depression or the depression of someone close to them, or even things like being afraid to come out because the person was afraid that men wouldn't find him attractive. As messed up as a lot of it is, sometimes reading all of these things helps me realize that I'm not the only one who knows how messed up our lives can get.
Hah. Mike WOULD be the one to introduce that to me.
Also. I did my advising appointment yesterday, and I took a good look at my preferable classes that I will be taking next semester. THIS IS GOING TO SUCK. I'm basically taking the next level of every class that I'm taking now. Its going to be as hard, if not harder than it is right now. Put it this way...if things go my way, I have to take a three hour class on Monday nights. That is some booty (black terminology for bullshit) right there.
Hold up. Jacob just walked in and farted for 5 straight seconds, not even kidding. Gotta open a window.
Ok. Well when it is tomorrow at 10:30 in the morning, I will be exactly one month away from being on a flight to a small town full of over priviliged white people that I like to call "home." I have lots of more reasons to be looking up than down. We'll see how long I can keep it up.

She doesn't care a thing about that hair, she thinks I'm beautiful

Happy November. We're currently 3 days in and I already look pretty sloppy, minus that bald spot directly below my chin. My mom said that if I keep brushing that spot with a toothbrush, stuff would finally start growing there, but that plan has been failing since the beginning of summer.
Speaking of summer, it reminds me of home, and I got my flight for Christmas break! Its going to be on December 10th, which is a Friday, which will from now on be declared Blackout Friday.
Halloween weekend was just what I needed. It was literally the first time in months that something turned out as good as I wanted it to be. No failed expectations. No worrying. No cares. Just living.
School still kicks me ass, in case you were wondering. I'm working my butt off just to stay on the Dean's List. If any other semester in my life is as hard as this one has been, call me an education major.
That's one thing that saddens me. A lot of my friends back home thought that I should be a preschool or kindergarten teacher, mainly because I'm pretty good with kids that age. And to tell you the truth, that would be a pretty awesome job. I can gurantee that my class would be fingerpainting all day, everyday.
But sadly, the pay for those kinds of jobs is near nothing. So is the chance of finding one. I was at this sketchy job interview/seminar last week, and the lady who was in control of it all said that she paid $25,000 for college, and the same exact amount was her salary her first year at her teaching job. That's dumb.
Recently, Jacob and I had a talk that sucked at the time but proved to be beneficial to the both of us. Later, he showed me the "Wear Sunscreen" speech from the 1990's. Tony told me about it once during the summer, but I neglected to read it because I didn't need it at the time (at least, I didn't think so). Hearing it for the first time was pretty cool. One piece of advice that really got to me was "Do something everyday that scares you." I actually thought about it and I think doing this would really work. For me, I feel lately like I've been hiding a lot of things from different people, and I'm scared to talk about them, because I feel like if I don't, everyone else will stay happy. Thus, saying these things scare me. Being more honest and upfront with people might vindicate me a little.
I don't have class on Friday, and I don't plan on having that much of a raging weekend, so you can expect me back soon. Talk to you lata.

This is not my life, or maybe it is....?

I am alive. 5 exams, a roots paper, a full day of officiating sports, and a presentation later, I am still standing. Except, right now I'm sitting, but I'm still breathing.
So the whole week(end) went by just as expected....I studied and studied and typed and typed and even had to go without Jacob for a few days. Its been an eventful 8 days but I'm glad its over, and its great to return to my normal, less responsible life.
Tomorrow I am going to see Paranormal Activity 2. Its the first time I'll be seeing a movie since August, when I was still home. I told myself I wouldn't get as bad as last year, but I find myself yearning for Michigan everyday (even the cold weather(sometimes)). But then again, the semester is more than halfway over, and going by quicker than any semester I can ever remember (college or high school), and I think I'll be on that plane ride back sooner than later.
Besides that, not much is going on. Well.....
I talked to Jacob today and he said he was seriously considering transferring to his girlfriend's school in California. I think, for the most part, I talked him out of it a little bit (thankfully, he doesn't read this) but I do think he has good reasons in doing so. I need to act fast in order to make a few things better than what they are right now. That starts with this coming weekend (Jacob's birthday), which is looking pretty good as of right now. Let's hope it stays that way.
Lately I've been thinking about how my life would be if certain things didn't come into play. Get this:
In April of 2009, one of the last months of my senior year of high school, I was ENROLLED at Michigan State. I had a roomate, a dorm, the works. Then one day in April, I got a letter from St. Ed's telling me how much scholarship money they were handing over to me. It was an offer I couldn't afford to not take.
Sometimes, on boring nights like tonight, usually, I think about just how different things woud have been if I had been able to stay in the state. I wouldn't be leaving anyone (its less than a two hour drive from home), its a huge school so there would always be someone to hang out with or talk to, and I would probably never be bored.
But when I think of that, I also think that a higher power might have interfered, because a lot of good things happened, as well. My friends and I found that leaving each other sucks, but it makes coming home so much better. I also learned a ton over last year, with adversity and the importance of friendship. I also met a lot of cool people! Maybe there's even someone special down here ;)
But I do enjoy the fact that my Texas life and my Michigan life are completely different. It seems that just when I start to tire of one life, its already time to head over to the other one.
Speaking of......I don't really know. I'm tired and really want to do laundry before I go to bed (relatively early). Hopefully I will be back before the weekend.

I've been waiting for this moment all my life, but it's not quite right

Funny how this is the middle of a very busy day for me, but its been a very long time, and it looks like I have about 2 and a half hours to spare until my next event.
Well shoot, a lot has happened since last time. My friend Phil and his girlfriend Megan broke up after over 3 years! And the next day, Mike and his boo Amanda broke up. Naturally, being 1500 miles away, I wondered what the heck was going on back home. Turns out, people just realize what is working in their life, and what's not. And the things that are not working are the things that need fixing.
Also, I think Dave had quite the good night last night, because he is now TAKEN.
Things are going to be a bit different when I come home Christmas time. I feel like everyone will actually be on (roughly) the same schedule, just like last year, and its going to be be a very memorable 5 weeks for me.
However, thinking that far ahead might be the very death of me. Ranging from Monday to next Monday, I have 5 exams and a roots paper. The sooner October is over, the better.
Going back to earlier about what I said concerning the things that are working in a person's life and the things that aren't, I'm reminded of 500 Days of Summer. The whole time, it seemed that Tom was focusing too much on what was good in his relationship with Summer. This isn't a bad thing to do at all, but I think that too much of this will start to bring you down.
I feel like I have had a few too many of these relationships with people lately, focusing so much on the good that it blinds you to the fact that things would just never work. Well, that needs work.
I have quite the busy weekend/week coming up, so don't expect me back for a while. At least I'm being honest.

You Were Surely Still an Actress All the Men Would Find Attractive

Hahaha. Alright, well I didn't really have an epiphany. I really just took a drunk walk through downtown Austin. Obviously, when one does that, their mind is going to be racing.
Um, other than that, not much has happened.
That's an understatement. Things have been...notable. I will do myself a favor and not talk about Thursday night. I was in the wrong place at the wrong, and I will not hinder myself from doing anything similar. And that's all I have to say about that.
I do enjoy the link I put up, though. I feel like I have a good taste in music. And so does Matt Nathanson. He is my new study buddy.
Shoot, my life is boring. There is nothing to talk about.
I got a haircut yesterday. I don't see myself growing it out anytime soon. And "anytime soon" would probably mean until I can't grow it long anymore. Ugh.
Oh. Tomorrow is the first game of our volleyball season. We're looking to repeat our title run. Exciting, right?
And I have to referee the whole day. First football, then volleyball, and then our game. I'm going to be drained.
Son of a gun, there is NOTHING to talk about.
Speaking of that. I feel like lately I've been having a lot of those "wish I would have said something more" moments. Even though these have been pissing me off more than anything. But on the bright side, this means that I have put that one awful weekend behind me. The one where I didn't care about anything. Yeah, that one.
I've noticed that over the course of this week, I have been missing home more than I usually do. I also thought about just how different my home life and my college life are. At home, just being with my friends and doing whatever makes me feel content with everything. Here, I feel like if I'm not at a party or downtown, I'm not having fun. But I mean, its whatever. How you see your life is the way that it actually is. No one except yourself can tell you how happy you are.
So yeah. Its whatever. Like I've mentioned before, I think school just brings me down to a crappy level because it kicks my ass so much. Here's to waiting until December 9th.
Alright. I'm going to go put on a movie or something. Byeeeee.

Yes.

I had...an epiphany. It is 2:26am central time, 3:27am now back at home, and 9:27pm in Hawaii. And I am here, with my first epiphany.
I don't know what else to say. Listen to this though:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_kAb4xfpGhw

The Police High Beam Froze Her Perfect Face

And it hasn't even been that long of a wait. Well, life has gotten significantly better since the last post, after a really long drop. Stay tuned for more!
(Infomercial break)
And....we're back. Alright. So, Friday arrived and went and nothing too bad happened. A small get-together was taken held at a friend's apartment, and a not-too-shabby night was had.
Then came Saturday. If depressing stuff makes you vomit, go back to Facebook now.
It started when Jacob and I we're on our way to the Huddle. We locked the door to our apartment, and walked about 10 feet down when a neighbor 3 doors down (an ok band), who happened to be an above average looking girl, looked at me and said "Hi." Now I don't even know this girl, but I returned with the bitchiest sounding "hi" one has ever heard. After this horrifying exchange, Jacob said that the way I said "Hi" made me sound uninterested....which is weird because I'd like to think that I enjoy meeting new people. Anyway, later on we heard about a fire drill in a dorm when a few of our friends reside. Jacob said I should text them to see if they were alright, but I replied with a friendly "No, because I don't really care."
At this point, Jacob stopped me and said, "It seems like you don't give a fuck about anything anymore. Like last year, you cared about everything and now, you've changed."
At this point I'm freaked out right? I mean, who wouldn't be?
Later on that night, Jordan seemed to hint that he wanted me to talk to Jacob about helping out more around the apartment, and whatever he was trying to say, I pretty much threw it right back at his face, telling him that I didn't want anymore drama in my life than there already was.
Sunday, I felt bad about everything that I had done and about the "fucks" that I didn't give, but my bad mood continued.
Emotional Deterioration.
Then a wise friend called me, and told me about variables. If you know me, you know that I've gotten my nut off talking about this for the past two days, but it really makes sense if you listen. Throughout our lives, everyday, there are variables that add up to the end result that you get at the conclusion of every day. If you are unhappy with you're end result, you change your variables. It sounds simple, but I think that the reason I had become so upset is that last year, I went through a steady routine every week (you don't need to know the details. If it bothers you, ask me). Going into this year, I was excited about the possibility of my routine being different than it was the previous year. Well, it had been a month already, and no change was in sight. But ever since that phone call with my friend, I feel like the power of change is in me, and nothing is going to happen unless I work for the change.
People get up out of bed everyday, and say they're going to change their lives, and they do nothing (with the exception of Dave, he's gonna do something). You know why? Because "hoping" something and "doing" something are two different things (call me crazy). Hoping that she'll facebook chat you will have you staring at the computer screen for hours and hours at night and leave you tired and lonely. Realizing there are many other special people you will interact with in this life, going out into the real world, meeting someone new, falling in love, getting married, starting a family, watching your kids grow, retiring before your 65, watching your grandchildren grow, and sitting back in a chair, taking a big sigh, and saying "You did it, Ev." is DOING something.
Whew. I'm at a loss of breath now. I'm sorry about the whole autobiographical nonsense in the beginning, but I hope you see the connection.
Hoping that my old routine would change going into this year got me, quite possible, the closest to depression that I will hopefully ever be.
Now its time to go do something about it.

I Just Haven't Met You...Yet.

Ok. So I lied about being back shortly, and all of those philisophical thoughts from 2 weekends ago pretty much left me. But I am sitting in the laundry room of the apartments, after making the intelligent decision to not go downtown tonight. If it matters to anyone, I had been flat broke before my relatives gave me some change (more like 35 bucks) to spend. And luckily, I haven't spent that all week long. I think I'm starting to form into the super saver that I'll have to be throughout most of my 20's. Check that off of "Thing's Evan needs to learn in order to grow the eff up" list.
Other than that, I haven't really grown up since the last post. I learned in psych class that a certain vital part of the human brain doesn't form completely until we're 25. With my luck, I'm pretty sure everything is going to hit me all at once.
So the weekend before last I mentioned that I had a few drunk dials with some good friends. The first was a friend who I shall refer to as William. But William and I actually had another pretty good talk (sober, sadly) a couple nights ago, so I shall save him for later.
The first talk was with a friend who I shall name Frederick. Frederick is in the beginnings of a good and hearty relationship with someone who likes him a lot more than the other way around. Don't get me wrong, but it just seems like that from the outside. But there was a time before where he was sure that he thought he would go unmarried and all of that other unhappy stuff. I think our call was pretty much me telling him to be thankful that there's someone out there that is always thinking about him, just as he's always thinking about her. Because I think that's what every person needs. Someone that you know is wondering where you are, what you're doing, what you're thinking...no matter if you're right next to them, or on the other side of the country. And while that person is doing all of that, you assure yourself that there is no plausible way that they're wondering more about you than you are of them. That's what people need. That is happiness. Or a form of it.
I'm still working on it.
Speaking of that (kind of), I got a question on my formspring about who I like. I realized that lately has been the first time in many a year that I haven't been completely infatuated with just one person. It has been somewhat of a release for me to focus on other things, but from what I got when I was talking to William the other day, "single" is starting to look more and more like "alone" on paper. Everyday.
Which brings me to William. Last year, William went into his first (serious) relationship of his entire life, until the *cough*whore*cough threw it away after 6 months of what was the story of two very happy people, at least that's how it looked from my point of view (meaning they were both happy, but she turned into a hoe (fo sho)). Anyways, William went through a tough 4 months of recovery which is still on going to this day. The other day, we were just making each other laugh until I had a weird feeling and just asked him if he was content with how his life has been thus far (Don't be creeped out by me, this is probably the first and almost last time I will ever ask someone that). I'm not going to repeat really anything else that was said, but we had quite the conversation about our lives, maybe the first time I've ever really been entirely open to him in our friendship.
I feel like he and I are on the same boat...two sailors...lost at sea...waiting..just waiting...to at least get a glimpse of the shore.
However, he is doing this with the pain of already reaching the shore, but being thrown back out. I've never felt that, but after how many talks I've been through about it, I can tell you it sucks...it really does.
I feel like there are all of these things and feelings that are involved with relationships that I have never felt, but I can tell you what they feel like, just because I have talks about it so much. Like being a robot. Just talking...yet feeling nothing.
I am a robot.
I feel like this is a good "coming" out blog. No, I am not gay. But while I was talking to my mother about things changing next semester, we discussed my car. The good news, I am probably going to bring the Amigo down here in January. The bad news, the Amigo won't be going back, and I can't have a job at home and not have a car. So the probability of me living in Austin this summer just increased dramatically. But I would still have to find a job and a living space. So yeah. I am a complete wimp for not telling certain people this straight up, but I feel like if I can't tell somebody something in person, I'll refuse to tell them until I do see them. Obviously a huge congressional hearing of friends and family will occur during Christmas break concerning the matter, but I figure I'd continue the trend of me saying things that don't matter to people.
I would like to skype more often. Texting and facebook is great, but seeing a face is so much better. To me.
I'd love to update you on what I did last week or what I'm doing this weekend, but frankly, even I am losing care in the matter.
I just hope there is some beauty in this breakdown.

Tell Mommy I'm Sorry, This Life is a Party.

Life is a party. That's what I learned this weekend.
From Thursday to Saturday, it was a straight rave for me. The weekends are really the only thing that is keeping me alive at the moment, and the fact that they're freaking AWESOME is just gravy.
I just got back from taking my first exam of sophomore year. Let's just say if that exam was a girl, I broke its hip.
Next weekend will be awesome too. Lets see, we have a rave on Friday, I'm going to the UT game on Saturday, NFL opening day party on Sunday, make it stop!
After drunk dialing a couple of good friends over the weekend, I came up with some real philisophical thoughts and shit, but I'm going to wait for the next post to write them all down. Right now, I'm a busy man.
Sorry it was so short (that's what he said, in two different contexts), but until next time......

But I'll Learn to Get By....On Little Victories

I have been on top of this lately. Maybe I won't die this semester. Maybe.
Well mainly I can afford to be here because
1. I guess my Psych teacher doesn't press the textbook too hard on us.
2. My Accounting book still has not come in the mail, so I'm still going to have to use my brain even more in that class.
3. Facebook has gotten really gay lately. It's like staring at a blank monitor forever, waiting for something to change. So dumb. I would delete it, but frankly, its my only means of connection with certain people.
Well not much has happened in two days, mainly because its a Monday and Tuesday. So basically....school.
I found out that I have a 4 day weekend coming up! But it would figure that there's like 3 parties I got invited to, and they're all on the same night at the same time. Timing. It sucks.
The lobby of the apartments on campus is playing (500) Days of Summer tomorrow. Since I have not seen it in...say...2 months, I will most likely be in attendance. I would like to talk about a few scenes in the movie that are meaningful to me.
Firstly, I really like the scene in the car where Tom asks Summer "What are we doing?" I think its such a big deal to me, because I always seem to be in that shitty spot where you like someone, but you don't know whats really "going on" at the moment, or what the future has in store for the two of you, and whatever. Sometimes, its best just to confront them. I mean, it doesn't work out for me ever, but you're not me, and you should be thankful.
Also, as sad as it is, I really like the part where Tom finds out that Summer is engaged. That whole 4 minute segment is just incredible. Initially, its awesome because it starts with the whole "expectations versus reality" thing. Amd that ALWAYS happens to me, and reality is the one that blows, like 98% of the time. And then Tom storms down the street, and just...stops.....I don't know....I could just feel how devestated he was. Mike really likes that part to. I'm not surprised. Haha.
Since we're on the topic of him, I really hope that medication is working...I haven't heard too much from anyone back home lately.
And speaking of needing medication...I had this really bizarre thought on the night before I left. After I said goodbye to everyone, I felt that my life was just complete...like I had did what needed to be done. I felt like I had already made an impact on so many lives that the plane I was going on the next day could go down, and I would be....content. I told a few people about this and got very mixed reactions. Basically, that it was depressing as fuck, or that it was a good thing. Luckily, I started thinking about things that I HAVEN'T done yet. I haven't had a legal beer yet (a few illegal, I must admit), and I haven't watched any of my 5 best friends get married, I haven't watched my little brothers grow up into the gentleman I know they'll be, I haven't see Blink live (I laughed out loud typing that one), and I mean....starting a family would be pretty cool.
This is making me dig deeper. Hold on.
In early March of this year, Lauren Roche, an old worker, but more importantly, a friend of mine, passed away by her own doing. She was 21 when she passed. I cried for the whole day, and I didn't know who to talk to. She was so young and loved by SO SO SO many people. I'm not trying to sound like an infomercial or like I need sympathy, but I just need you to know that if there is ANYTHING that EVER makes you think about doing something like that, please....hold on. Sometimes people say that there is someone out there that feels just as you do in your darkest hour...that's not true. You are you, and your thoughts are your own. I will not give you the "light at the end of the tunnel" business, but I WILL promise you that there are ALWAYS people out there that you will take a piece out of when you leave this world. A substantial piece. One that's not worth taking. Hold on.
The sad thing about being at school is that I almost never have the opportunity to look up at the stars as much as I could at home. Whether I think its nice that someone you know is enjoying the same great portrait, or its just good eye candy to me, I will never know. I just know that I miss stopping in my tracks and gazing for minutes at a time.
Alright...bed time. Thanks for putting up with my shit again.

But I'm Sure It's Written All Over My Face

Hey everyone. Its extremely late, especially for you Michiganders, but I'm pretty much done with the homework that has taken up about 90 percent of my day today.
"Really?" you ask. "Could one really have 5 straight hours of accounting homework in one sitting, and just beginning only their second week of school?" Yes. And your an ass for rubbing it in my face.
This weekend was pretty fun. Didn't do to much on Friday. Said goodbye to most of my family. My mother kind of choked back on her tears when she told me about keeping in touch. She didn't cry last year. I wonder if she's as worried about me as I am.
Saturday was wicked awesome. We played tennis, went swimming, I got extremely sunburnt, then Jacob and I went downtown to my cousin's football game, then to a friend's house for a good party. I think the weekend's are going to be so much more of a survival thing for me than they were last year.
Today, like I said, I did homework. We went to the Holy Cross dinner as Jordan's guests, and we probably made the unlucky gentleman who sat with us feel really bad. I could not help but cry everytime Jacob muttered something under his breath. That was probably one of the best dinners I've had in a long time. And I'm not talking about the food.
I was thinking about some people that I used to be good friends with and, obviously, the case is not the same anymore. Like any other person, I creeped on these people's pictures, and all of them seemed to be very happy. I could not be more ecstatic for these people, and though they might feel sad about our friendship's sharply declining, I'm glad people move on like they do. The topic saddens me, like most things that I write on here, but I find it safer than trying to connect again with these people. Its been too long.
But then I'm reminded of a quote that one of these friends once told me. "People are put in and out of our lives for certain reasons." I was blessed with this quote last summer, when I stupidly believed that I would be easily forgotten once I left for school. What I loved about the quote was that it didn't mean that people WOULDN'T forget me...sometimes its possible for you to not be as important to a person as they are to you....but that everyone you will ever come across was supposed to be there, and no matter how they affected you, they served their purpose. It doesn't matter if it was not enough, too much, or not the way you wanted it to be...that's just how things work out, and it's life...in general.
Well, like I mentioned before, its gotten pretty late and if I'm going to get any sleep its going to be right now. Glad I got to be philisophical for the first time in a while. Goodnight.

So Long Sweet Summer

Once again, it has been awhile. I'd like to apologize to Dave Weyland, and no one else. School, setting things up, and getting to see everyone again is keeping me super busy, and I'm guessing that the weekend will keep me just as busy. Anyway:
Lots of stuff that need updating. Move in went well. It took a day and a half for my bed to come in (I had to spoon with Jacob for a night <3), my desk will probably be coming in tomorrow (I've been doing homework on the floor), but we finally got a television, and the apartment is big and spacious. I think we really lucked out this year. One of the funniest things was having all of us sitting on the floor in my room during the first night. It was ironic that we had all of this extra space to use, but instead we were cramped up in the corner of a bedroom.
School has been gay. And will continue to be gay. I don't really want to talk about it.
Seeing everyone again has been INCREDIBLE. It felt like coming home after a long time away, when everyone is calling and texting, just wanting to see you again. It really took off the stress of starting another school year. Knowing that this will probably happen everytime I go to my real home and everytime I come back here is one of the best feelings in the world.
Having said that, leaving was not anywhere near as bad as last year. Minimal tears were shed, and pretty much everything that needed to be said, was. I guess I can't really continue without an excerpt of that period that meant a lot to me:
After the guys left (they were all parked on my street), I did a fantastic job of holding back any emotions as I walked back up the driveway. I went into my room and sat down on my bed. As soon as my rear hit the mattress, Lexie texted me, which was ironic because she was going through relatively the exact same thing. As I went on facebook (what else is new?), Jake chatted me saying that he already missed me. I couldn't help but ask what he was going to do without me around all the time (we would always be slumming around during the afternoons when everyone else worked). It made me sad and happy at the same time when he said he honestly didn't know. Before he signed off, I thanked him....just for....everything. I don't even really know. Without missing a beat, he said "no problem." Like, he knew what I was trying to say. I honestly couldn't hold back any emotions at that point. I think I'm done talking about this.
Um. Well the weekend will consist of seeing and hanging around with more people. Should be a good time. I know some people are looking for more in this blog but they can forget it. HEY GUESS WHAT. I have homework. See ya.

You Know That It Meant Everything to Me

I think I had this one coming.
So this is my last weekend home and its going great so far. I'm glad to be done with work, and I'm excited to head back to school.
But today I was playing basketball with Randall, and we were talking about everything when we were shooting around. Randall asked me how many close friends I had. Naturally, I said 5. He sounded surprised that I had that many. And after I went home for a little bit, it really got me thinking about just how many people I've almost entirely cut ties with in the span of a year. The people that I met years ago and basically got me through my boring high school. The people that don't deserve such treatment. Last year, before I left, I made a facebook note called Memories, and asked everyone to write just one memory that the two of us shared. It ended up getting like 60 or 70 comments, most starting off with "Just one memory? Nice try." The first time I read the all the comments in their entirety, I must have cried for a whole night.
Last summer, everything ended the way I wanted it to end. I had a huge bonfire about a week before, and everyone who I wanted to show up did, which totaled about 70ish people throughout the whole night. Basically, I got in all the goodbyes that I needed to get in, and when I left, as sad as it was, I felt that just....complete. There was nothing I could have done to make those last two weeks better.
Having said that, ever since then, I feel like I've dedicated myself to keeping a distance from a lot of people, even if the same people try to make an effort to not be. I feel like those people deserve an apology, and I'd like to take the time to say what needs to be said. Here goes nothing...or everything I have left.
I think I mine as well start with family, particularly my dad. The other day we crossed paths in the house and I couldn't think of any sports news to talk about off the top of my head, so nothing was said. Its sad to think that about 90% of our conversations are about sports, and I'm also sorry that I was never really around the house as much as I've been this summer.
To all of the people that I hung out a lot with in high school and last summer:
Buckner: At my bonfire, you said that we would never probably never see each other again. At the time, I thought of how ridiculous the idea of that seemed, and now I'm sitting here, realizing that that was the last time I saw you. I really wished we would have gotten to bowl or do something this summer. If we never see each other again, the best of luck to you, and keep listening to that good music. The same goes to Drew. I miss you guys.
Tito: A couple of weeks ago, I told you that we would finally meet up and utilize your bowling discount. That turned about to be a lie. I feel like after we saw each other so much at all of those grad parties and misc. hang outs, you deserved a call from me. I'm apparently a liar, and you and Buck will definitely be getting a shout out from me next summer.
Rosner, Matteo, and Ian: You guys made AP World History bearable. We saw each other sparingly last year, but somehow I managed to visit two of you up at State over Christmas break. That was a fun time, and I even think that we were supposed to go to Canada. I wish I would've been able to go with you guys. It would have been a blast.
To all of the Dave's not named Weyland: Man, have I missed you guys. Davey, luckily I got to see you last Thursday at Stacey's. That was probably the second time I've seen you all summer, as opposed to last year when we saw each other everyday. I've known you almost the longest out of anyone in the Twp., and the times that I did see you, I cherished it. Dickson, I haven't seen you since my bonfire either. You were going to be at the slip and slide before it got cancelled. I feel like a higher power was always in the way of letting us hang out. Haha. Anyways, you're going to hang out with Weyland and me sometime next summer, whether you or Buddha or whoever wants us to or not. Dave B., I was so happy to see you at Taco Bell a couple of months ago! Catching up was great, and I wish we could have talked more. There were several classes in high school in which you were the only person I could talked to, and I would've died without. I thank you for that.
All of the cross country guys, particular Jeff, Jon, and Lucas, how the hell have we not done anything this summer? You guys were literally the first people I met when I moved north, and I'm forever greatful for you guys taking me under your wing. I'll never forget the hundreds of inside jokes we had, and I hope we can all do something when December rolls around.
The AMC people! Man, we threw some great parties. I think Peter put it best: it's weird meeting some of the coolest people ever, at one of the worst jobs ever. We hung out a couple times the beginning of the summer, and it kind of died down after that. I wish it hadn't. Last year, about 3 days before I left, there was a gathering of us at Steak and Shake, where I got to say goodbye to everyone. It was so fitting. I wish we would've done that again this year, and I apologize for you guys always having to be the ones that call me when you make plans, and not the other way around.
Christian, we had so many plans before summer started, and I bitched out on pretty much everything. I don't think there's anything I could do to reverse that, and I don't think I deserve forgiveness. I'm sorry.
To Sara, Kelly, Jess, Carol, Danielle, and all of the girls. We hung out about 3 or 4 times a week last summer, and that was reduced to about 3 or 4 times every 2 months. I think this was a combination of us all being busy, and me leaving. Sometimes one person leaving can screw up a friendship, and I'm blame myself for not keeping in touch as much as I should have. The day after Christmas, the girls and the guys met up for Secret Santa. That was the last time we all hung out. The guys left early, and we each came up with a different excuse when we left. I never thanked you guys for inviting us all to do that with you, and you all deserved better. To Sara inparticular, I'm sorry that you think that the only people that care about you are at Central. I apologize for not giving myself enough chances to prove you wrong, because I know you are.
Dragan, you were probably one of my first best friends after I moved north. Thanks for keeping me company on the bus all of those years. I hate that we only saw each other 4 or 5 times all summer, and it makes me even more upset that I didn't even get to say goodbye when you left this year. Last year when you left was the first of many times I cried that summer, and as sad as it was, I wish we could have been able to say goodbye again. I already can't wait for the next Hello. Love you, dude.
This is where it gets even tougher.
Jake and Phil, I feel like when I'm around you guys, I don't talk as much as I do when I'm around the others. I wish it didn't take me 3 years to figure that out, but no one's perfect. Thanks for calling when you guys would get bored, and Phil, you better be ready in time for the big bash in December.
Tony, I feel like after all of the in depth conversations we've had in the car and wherever else, you've done the majority of talking, and I've done most of the listening. From my perspective, that's not fair to you, and I apologize. I think its because I feel like if I dive into my thoughts, you'll think less of me. You told me the other night that you were amazed at how cool I was with going back to Texas, and not too worried about anything. The truth is that I'm really freaking out. I always am. I just don't show it. I don't know what this semester will do to me, and frankly, I don't want to know. I'm going to have no money, the hardest classes, and the most responsibilities I've ever had. Things will be harder than ever, and so I'm finding that the best way is to just pretend nothing is wrong. I doubt you'll read this, so I'm going to find it as one my top priorities to do before I leave to tell you in person.
Dave, I can't apologize, but rather just be plain sorry, that you had to live up north all summer. That's not what you wanted, and you've handled it wonderfully. I do apologize, however, that I told you that this was going to be the best summer of our lives. That was a lie and a hope that my adolescent self had created. I never answered your question to this, but I do think its possible for a group of people to keep in touch for a lifetime. I haven't done it yet, but I'm just saying that I believe it can happen.
Mike, my best friend. I feel like we haven't had a heart to heart or teary moment in a long long time, but I think its because we already know now just how much we care about each other, so there's no need for a lot of those anymore. If you do feel the need to have one, though, I'll always be a phone call away at the furthest.
I doubt many will see this, or reach this point in this essay (people say that to feel sorry for themselves, but this is a fact) but I think this is the best way to do so, since texting or calling someone to say this would be awkward. This took me 3 days to write, and I'm giving you a cyber high five if you made it to this penguin below.
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Okay that's enough. I doubt I'll write anymore before I leave on Thursday, so I'll catch all of you on the flip side.

Sweet Like Candy to My Soul

There are few things better than the end of a long work week. And that's what's happening right now. Twas long. But I never said it sucked. Far from that.
Tuesday was one of the best days of summer. Just being out and about from 8 in the morning until whenever the hell we got home was enough for me to call it a good day. Even better that I was at TWO Tiger's game. Even better than I was with my best friends. Even better that I ripped my work pants (always has been a goal of mine). I can't think how the day could've been any more splendid.
Today is my friend Phillip's 21st birthday. How exciting. I told my mom today and she asked if I was excited now that he could buy the rest of us booze. I laughed. Nervously. Very nervously.
Even though the bash of the summer that we were supposed to have on Saturday was cancelled, Phil said we will still have a Christmas break bash upon my return. I already cannot wait. You're totally invited.
Also, on the eve of his birthday, I spent yesterday evening having the best conversation with him and his family in his kitchen. It was great. It's weird to think that it's been almost three months since I was jumping around that kitchen, ecstatic for the summer to start. Time flies when your're...not dead...? I'm not sure.
Now that Thursday is over, there are only 13 days left til Austin. Also, now that Thursday is over, and I'm still in this house, it makes me miss Thirsty Thrusdays in Austin.
Don't ask me why, but I stumpled (literally stumbled...I fell onto my computer and it opened to this website) onto this article on askmen.com about young men growing up in their 20's. Like, how your you're going to come out of college at the bottom of the totem pole all over again. Yet, you're still going to find time to go to the bar with co-workers and stuff at the end of the week and other activities and its going to be the best years of your life blah blah blah. Sounds like a trip. It also went on about how your finances are going to suck because you're in debt, and the only thing I could wonder about is how bad it could be in 6 years if I already scrapping for every penny now.
The article finally went on to your love life and how you're supposed to date a crap ton of women in order to find out what you want for a wife. I'm sorry, but that's dumb. Going through all of those people is just going to tell you what you DON'T want in your ideal partner. Then you get picky. Then you're an asshole. Then you're lonely. Boom. Chain reaction.
Jay Leno must have been one ugly kid. His head/chin is HUGE.
I also thought of what would be a really good tv show. One that I would actually watch. But I am so ridiculously tired. So you're going to have to ask me about it privately.
My eyes hurt because they're open. Goodnight. Luh you.

We'll Be Miles Apart

Ok well I've become a total liar and procrastinator with this blog. So its basically just transforming into my real self. Awesome.
So yea, up until Thursday my week had sucked hard. All work and no play makes Evan's life blow. After work on Thursday was over, I was ecstatic to go to what was left of the mission trip and finally have a life again. Tearing apart that house was a blast. And it was even better with some cool people there. But frankly, I got about 25 hours of sleep from Sunday night to Thursday night, so by Friday night I had turned into Sleeping Beauty.
Saturday night, I had the guys over mi casa. I think it was cool how we had planned to make a bonfire in the backyard, but decided to sit on our asses around the kitchen table instead, just talking about memories and other random stuff. And I thought to myself "you can't duplicate this anywhere else." I'm sure going to miss simple things like that.
Today was the first time the 6 of us have all been in the same spot in recent memory. That made today a good day.
On Tuesday, the Tiger's are having a double header, and we're going to both games! You know what they say, "If you're gonna be in downtown Detroit the whole day, bring your camera." And that is exactly how that is going to go down.
Um...not in a very philisophical mood right now. More like happy. But I gurantee that the sooner August 19th comes (I'm flying down! Not driving!), the sooner I'm going to get all teary and philisophical.
But for now, I'm tired. Goodnight.

Can I Lie With You in Your Grave?

Another entry tomorrow. Pinky Promise. In the meantime, this is a good song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-p3B9aW8YKk

Lollipops Turned to Cigarettes

Well. Today is Day 1 of the worst week of summer, so I mine as well start blogging about it now.
So I work Monday through Thurday (again), but at least two of the days start at 8am and not 6. The really sad part is that half of us have left for the Mission Experience thing, and the other two most likely have much better plans for the week that don't involve Evan. Summer has really started to suck in the last 2 weeks.
To make things even better, August 7th has gone completely down the drain. The slip and slide got moved to Sunday, which makes it not as fun, and that whole weekend that was supposed to be dedicated to celebrating a 21st birthday is going to be just another weekend now. Awesome.
All I really want to do now is fit in one last photoshoot with all of us (no homo). After that, I don't see anything getting in the way between me and Austin (the city, not the person).
For as much financial debt I am going to be in during the course of the next 10 months, I do think its worth it to just be on my own again for a while. And I am going to be in a shitton of debt. I can't wait. Speaking of this, if one of you Toppers believe that you're going to end the year with almost $300 to spare in your meal plan (I know I did last year), feel free to donate to the "Help Evan and Sam and Jordan and Jacob eat, but mainly just Evan" charity fund. If you expect some sort of return out of this, Sam has a reward that is inappropriate for this blog. But its still a reward. Don't forget that.
I think I've figured another part of me out. I live in two completely different worlds. Everytime I switch to one place, I begin to miss the other place extremely. Its a shit life.
On the plus side, the drive and/or flight to Austin shouldn't be bad. I only have a bag of clothes and a small TV to bring. Everything else...beds, drawers, tables, chairs, my thinking cap...is already down there. Good deal.
Um. There's a full moon shining in through my window right now. I kind of want to go outside and look at it. But I hate going outside my house at night, alone. I think I've mentioned that. Oh shit. My mom just told me to put the windows up in my car. Which is outside. Fuck me.
(Goes out and puts the windows down.)
God that was scary. I only left my windows down because I thought I would be using my car again tonight. But clearly, I forgot that I don't have a life anymore.
My haircut turned out well! I look like I'm from the 90's. I'm just gonna start telling people that that's what I was going for. Hopefully I won't need another one until I get back here.
Um. The title. The other day, George sent me one of those forwarded messages that I (usually) hate. But this one was about growing up. I don't remember a lot of it, since I deleted it like the idiot I am, but I thought this line was cool. So there's no need to google it, David.
Ok. I'm not going to bed, but I need to not look at a computer for a little bit. Expect my company again soon.

You Shine So Brightly in the Dark

Whoo! I'm back. Sorry about the long ass wait. I've been wicked busy the last week. Let's see what I can make of this.
Well. You already know that I had to work from Monday to Thursday. That sucked a fatty. I was either working or sleeping. Made no plans at all. Couldn't even answer my phone. Straight depressing.
Well once I got home from work on Thursday, life suddenly got amazing. I took like a million hour nap and got to see Inception at midnight (ILL movie).
Friday night was spent in Ann Arbor. Someone once told me that its the same as Austin. But Austin is a lot better, for the record.
In regards to Austin and Ann Arbor, I think one of the coolest things about college is having like a 15 minute conversation with someone that you know you're never going to come across again. And when you're done talking about God knows what, and one of you has to go, you just say "Good luck." But good luck with what? Getting out of the party alive? The incoming semester you were talking about? The rest of your life? It seems like not a big deal, but to me, it just makes me feel like there's so much more that's stored in that "Good Luck" than what you'd expect.
Yesterday, Michael and I went to see Demetri Martin. It was a hilarious show, and it went for 2 hours. Nuts. The jokes he was improvising were awesome. That guy is a genius.
After the show I went to a party with Jake and Tony that got "broken" up about 20 minutes after our arrival. Weak sauce.
I feel like I should be getting philisophical at this point. But I can't think of much. Oh snap. Wait a second. So Tony and I were driving to Ann Arbor on Friday and we talked about pretty much everything in our lives. "Pretty much everything" is an understatement. We talked about everything. Friends, school, the epic looking National Coney Island in Royal Oak, women, the works. I found out that its funny how much you can learn about yourself in a deep conversation. I figured out to myself that with all of the mistakes I made in my friendships throughout high school, I matured and made them the way I should in Austin. Keeping your loyalty to a select few, so that you end up hurting no one. That's a lot better, than, you know, hurting people.
Back during Spring Break, Tony and I stayed up late after a party, and he told me he respected me for being a closed door with everyone, even my closest friends. I don't know what it is. I like to think a lot, but I don't like trying to convey everything into words with people. My thoughts to word ratio is way off. I mean, as long I don't feel like sharing all of my thoughts will haunt me for the rest of my years, I'll be okay. Right?
Anyways, it really got me thinking to living in Austin for the majority of next summer. What I've learned the most from the summer is that this place is honestly the best, but only for a certain period of time. Say, 2 months. And a week. That's when I figured that its time to go back to school.
However, I leave in exactly a month from tomorrow. All of the things that I've mentioned in previous posts about what I would like to do, they still haven't occured yet. Those are really the only things that are getting me through these last 32 days. I'm ready. I still haven't said those words aloud, so nothing counts.
I'm getting a small haircut tomorrow from Sara's mom. The last and only haircut of the summer. Not a mohawk like we all planned on getting, but enough to get me by.
Also, Mike played some of Say Anything's new stuff in the car yesterday. One song is called "Do Better," which is awesome and makes me feel like I'm in a movie whenever I listen to it. A lyric from it is actually my title for this. And I would post a video of it, but you all know that I have no idea how to do this.
I wish I could be more philisophical, but I guess saying too much be diminishing everything I've been saying. Blah! Glad I got everything out.
Time to go hang with cool people. Uhh. Text me.

But No One's Ever There To Take You Home

To continue my bitching from the last post, I came up with a decent metaphor for what's going on in my life. Take a look.
Ok. So, once in a while, there was a really good party down in Austin. We would show up, wreck our havoc, get Whataburger, stay up late in the dorms, and pass out around 5. It was a great time. The next morning (or afternoon, whenever we woke up) we would go get the most GLORIOUS brunch from Hunt. And everyone you saw at brunch was at the party last night (On a side note, the greatest instance of one of these was Halloween, when everyone was still in their costumes when they went to eat. Sadly, my tights were ripping, so I had to change into actual clothes. It was so funny. Halloween was one of the best nights of my life). We would walk around, make sure everyone was "ok" and have fun wondering if anyone remembered how they got back to campus the night before. After brunch, we'd go back to the dorms, and if we got lucky, repeat the process. That's college pretty much summed up.
Anyways, I thought about it, and these adventures we'd have align perfectly with my summer(s). Last summer was the night before. The party. The time where you don't really know if life could get better than this. Sometimes you had no clue where you were, who you were talking to, where you'd be in 10 minutes, but, golly, you were having a ball. Skip the Whataburger and goofing around the dorms, and you get this summer. The morning/afternoon after. You finally wake up (come back home), see everyone again, talk about old times and how great they were, asking them how they've been since, what they're plans for the future are, etc. Basically nostalgia in a bottle. Then you'd go back into your room, and wonder what comes next. Last night was awesome. I wish I could go back, but man, it's nice to see everyone again. Boom.
On an even sadder note, today was the first of four days that I have to work in a row. And of course, the last day of this hell has me starting at 4am! I'll be dead at noon on Thursday. It's official. Please come to my funeral.
I wanted to post a song that's been stuck in my head for the last week, but I have no clue how to post videos. Sowwy.
Um. Did I mention I'm going to die? Its hard to believe that when school arrives, I'll be getting much more sleep. Speaking of which....goodnight.

As if the Great Divide Could Swallow Me Whole...Ohh, How I'm Breaking Down

Man, the last couple days have been SHIT-TY with a capital POOP. I've literally been doing nothing except sleeping, eating, and sitting on my ass, staring at the facebook homepage for hours. What a life.
Work has killed me. No. Not me. Summer. Work has killed summer. Working at 6am has not been as fun as I thought it would be. As if I thought it would be fun. Hah.
This summer was supposed to be awesome. The times have been memorable, but not as fun as last year, in my opinion. I really thought about this today. Back when school was still going, I gave this summer so much hype, assuming that we'd have all the time in the world to hang out. I think we all just let our real lives get in the way. But the thing is, life always gets in the way. We just refused to do anything about it once summer arrived, and everyone came home from school. Work, family, other friends. I think we should have seen this coming.
Last summer, only half of us had jobs, only Phil had a girlfriend, and we had all the free time in the world to just hang around and be ourselves. Now we all have some sort of job or internship, more than half have had a girlfriend or at least some kind of beneficial friend in the last 2 months, and I don't believe the 6 of us have been all together since May. This isn't growing up though. This is keeping our priorities in line.
Who am I kidding though? Its still been a great time. Plus there's still August 7th, Demetri Martin stand up, and one day when all 6 of us are in town, I'd really like to go to "Mike's Bridge" and take a nice photoshoot of us. I'm in dire need of a fresh profile picture.
So, I found out my mom is hosting a baby shower in our backyard for a girl at her work on Sunday. Judging from how my dad accepted the news, I feel that I am the only one who finds this extremely bizarre. Needless to say, I will make other plans at the time. Not to be mean, I just find myself to be a little weirded out.
Shoot. I have to wake up for work in about 5 hours. I'm praying that I don't have to work on Sunday. A day off would be so enjoyable.
Hopefully a better post next time around. This one really S'd the D.

Funky Buttlovin

Hello. Its only been two days! Everyone, including me, has been hanging out with their families all day, so I have a night all to myself. Just me, this 60 inch tv, and my mother's Netflix account.
Yesterday. Was. Insane. Way too much partying. I'm gonna take life easy for awhile. Props to Phil for taking care of me and Jake from about midnight and on last night. Oh Phillip. He's a good friend. Someone who deserves more than what he gets. The world needs more Phillips.
Today, two of the closest families to us came over for the holiday. About 5 or 6 years ago, when we first moved in, my mom used to throw the biggest 4th of July party on the block. All of her friends and their families would come for the whole damn day, and a bunch of houses across the street would have a "works of fire" war, trying to outlast one another the whole night. It was great. Most people claim that it was a better show than what you get at the park.
If my memory serves me right, we stopped throwing the annual party about 2 years ago. Because the houses stopped shooting off the fireworks. I felt horrible for my mom. It always seemed like it was her biggest day. We would work so hard to get ready every year. Like last year, I wasn't even home for the 4th. Looking back, it makes me feel horrible.
But tonight, we were inside watching a movie, when we heard World War III going on outside. The fireworks were back! After, like, a three year absence. When it was all over, I turned to Mom and said, "We should do it again next year...the party. As long as we're still here, I think we can pull it off." She looked at me and smiled. I live for hopeful moments like those.
I finally logged on to my skype account for the first time this summer. I used that shit so much down at school. I think Sam wanted us to skype way back in May. Haha. I'll have to let him know.
I NEED TO SELL MY CAR. I'm such a lazy ass.
Mike. You and I shouldn't cry as much. It doesn't look good to people outside our friendship. People think we're gay.
Sara. You should cry more often. It can be good for you.
Sam. I don't know what the hell my skype name is. Just type in my name. It will show up under Shelby Township.
Lexie. I want you to know that up until this point, this blog took about 20 minutes to write. That was an hour ago. You frustrate me to the point that I have to stay up and watch Star Wars at 2 in the morning. But if it means a lot to you, I wish that I wasn't in (insert movie I saw on Tuesday night) so you could have called me and told me all about your adventures at home. That's all I got for right now. Also, I think this year is going to be really fun.
I'm going to bed. Bye.

All the Night's Magic Seems to Whisper and Hush

I'm purposefully slowing down the amount of times I blog now, because I found out that I make people CRY with these bad boys. No but really, I've been tired/busy. I'll probably write a lot more now that I don't have to work until WEDNESDAY! Woohoo.
Lately I've been doing nothing except sitting on my butt, or slummin around the Twp. with the guys, which has obviously been a lot more fun than I could type out. Last night, we got back from Denny's and were talking on Phil's driveway. We hear a noise and realize that two houses down is an open car with people laying down in the back of it. This was realized AFTER we had a 30 minute discussion on fecal matter. Classy. But hilarious nonetheless.
Today was Dragan's birthday. We went and saw a movie and went to a "party" after. Except it was more of a basement with 10-15 boozed people talking in seperate parts of the room. Funny to think how far some people have come since high school. Or not. This is so mean. I'm leaving it.
Tomorrow will be awesome. My neigbor Sam is throwing a HUGE graduation party, plus there's a party with the guys after. Should be an awesome day. I already said that.
Just recently (actually, like 10 minutes ago), I took Maya out so she can do her business. I noticed several things:
1. One of the few things I don't enjoy about home. I live on one of those streets where you feel like someone or something is about to sneak up on you and attack you. Its just one of those feelings. I know this because I rarely feel it anywhere else. It genuinely freaks me out. And it only happens at night. Duh.
2. I saw the Big Dipper!!! Usually when I look up, I just see a huge cluster of stars, but today I actually looked up and analyzed the shit out of them, and I SAW it! I was so excited. I hope it will be there, in the same spot, on Sunday. Because I won't be home tomorrow. But you already knew that.
3. Ok. This one has nothing to do with taking my dog out to piss. You caught me. But, today was Friday. Move in day is on a Friday. 7 weeks from now. I have 7 weeks left in Michigan. That's 7 weeks of doing everything but regretting nothing. That's also 49 days. One of these 49 days will be better than the rest. August 7th. Ohh boy. I'll be damned if that's not the best day of summer.
Alright, well I would really enjoy NOT passing out with my shoes still on tomorrow, so I'm going to let you go. But thanks for reading. I like you. Goodnight.

Being Grown Up Isn't Half as Fun as Growing Up

Um. I can't think of a clever introduction for this one. Ugh.
Last night the guys went and saw Grown-Ups. Basically our lives. 5 (in our case, 6) best friends reunite after 30 years apart. Hopefully we can do the same thing, minus the 30 year lapse. It's a completely fictional story, but I think its cool that those guys were like 40 years old and could still crack jokes like that, which reminded me of our group now. I hope growing up doesn't take that away from us. Any of us.
Also, my dad randomly gave me money to take my brother to see Toy Story 3 and I cried MORE than the last time. I'm gonna take a break from that movie for a while, for my own sake.
I haven't had more than 5 hours of sleep in a night since last Saturday. The worst.
In the car last night, Phil said that he and Jake were gonna try and come down to visit for spring break next year. I thought it was cool until it suddenly dawned on me that the 6 of us go to 6 different schools, and the likelihood of any of our breaks matching up is about as skinny as I was in high school. Just about anyone coming down from home to visit me would mean the world to me. I definitely have the room for it now (the dorms last year could barely house 2 people). Even summer (if I decided to stay) would be a great time for them to come down. But next summer is still a huge "IF" with a capital I-F. If I stay in Austin, everyone's going to come visit me. If I come home, I'm probably going to fly out to California. SO many "if's." Things need to start solidifying. Except my lake. I do enjoy the summer.
I think that the future scares the living shit out of me so much that I can't accept that things are changing unless I talk about them with people or I write them down on blogs that no one reads. I thought before that the majority of the wicked changes in my life would be last summer. But I'm getting a lot more weird vibes about the future than I was last summer. I'm obviously going to have a lot more responsibilities with the apartment, and school being a lot harder, but I feel like a giant wave of (insert something life-altering here) is going to come crashing down on me, and things could be as bad, or as good, as ever.
To leave this off on a positive note, I'm going over Tony's later today to set up the slip and slide for tomorrow. But first...sleep.

It's Nice Not to Be So Alone

I'm heading into this post headfirst, with nothing on my mind beforehand. Today I worked, ate, worked more, ate more, swam, ate, then ate again. How am I not fat? Three cheers for my metabolism. That's really all I can think about. I am shit tired.
Wait. I forgot to mention something. My weekend was really boring. I barely saw anyone, and saw my father for about 20 minutes on FATHER'S DAY. He was gone for the first half of the day, and I was gone for the last half. I need to start synchronizing my different schedules with those around me. This "waking up at 5am, going to bed at 3am" might kill me before August 21st rolls around.
Good grief. August 21st. So much freaking crap to do before then. As of 5 minutes ago, I will have no bed, car, or any other chance of surviving. I am going to die.
Its funny that I spent literally 5 minutes in the Amigo tonight with the 4 other guys, and it was literally the best 5 minutes I've spent in the last 2-3 days. Funny what the presence of 4 (sometimes 5) other guys can do to one guy (WINNER: most awkward statement ever said in a blog. EVER).
Saturday. The awesome, 30 foot, 2 in 1 slip 'n slide is being unleashed for the summer season! If you read this, you should attend. It's at Tony's house. Neither me or Tony is responsible for the injuries you WILL receive.
This was where my blog was going to end, but instead, I'm going to dedicate this part to a person named Crystal. What I HATE about Crystal is that she always makes ME text her if one of us has to log off. And that she RARELY responds to my conversation-starting texts (especially lyrics from a mutually liked band). What I LURVE about Crystal is....umm...the fact that we talk a lot, talking to her late at night (like right now), her weird thoughts that she gets when she's alone, hearing her weird thoughts, and telling her mine, the fact that she wants me to write this, and a whole bunch of other things that I'm not going to list because the other, like, 2 people who read this are getting bored.
Ok. It's Mother's Day of Birth today! Goodnight.

I Just Think That She's the Best

It's been so long since my last visit and I apologize. Just too much has happened and life has been a bit frantic lately. But there is a lot to talk about and even more that's on my mind. Let me try to find a good starting point.
Well Dave has been home for almost a week now, and the Third Eye Blind concert was awesome! Obviously they only played like 7 songs which is like 45 too short for me, but the other bands did not disappoint at all. Best part of the concert had to be walking back to our seats when LMFAO was playing. We walked by this huge group of people (of color and white) and I had the urge to start dancing with them. So next thing I know, I'm crumping and doing the worm (backwards because that's the only way I know how) in the center of these people's break-dancing circle. The only part of me that doesn't want to do something as awesome as that for the rest of my life is probably my chin, which was wounded in the process. Later that night, there was an after "party" at Bob's which was fun and...eventful...at the same time. In total, I was up for more than 25 hours straight that day. We went to bed as it was getting light out. That's something that I'd expect to happen in college. I love home.
Speaking of being home, Appalachia is cancelled! Freaking cancelled! A whole week of getting away from the world and just hanging around with your best friends, and some moochers decide to raise the price on everyone, making it impossible to go. Luckily, everyone has already taken work off so we decided at dinner today that the week of Appalachia will be partially dedicated to visiting Dave up at Tech. That's pretty much the only thing left to look forward to this summer.
We all saw Toy Story 3 tonight. What an amazing movie. I cried at the end. At first my eyes were just a little watery and I thought "I got this," but then a huge one dripped all the way down my face. The movie made me want to be little again so bad. After I dropped Dave off, I started getting teary again just thinking about my childhood, and how it is long gone. All that we have left is what's in front of us. I played the song Moondance by Van Morrison in my car, because it's literally the first song that I remember hearing as a kid. Throughout the entire movie, I thought about how I would take my brothers to see it later on, but after, I mostly just want to see it with my mom...
It seems that only on real meaningful nights, I look up at the stars when I get home. I feel like there was an extra big one in a spot that is usually vacant. I also feel like I was expecting this on the way home.

Old Friends Are the Best Friends

Boy. What a last two days. And all spent with some great friends. I wouldn't want it any other way. Last night we all went to Denny's. And I swear to God, that if someone were to set up a video camera at the end of the table and record the conversations that we're being held, you could put that video up on Comedy Central. I have never laughed so hard in a two hour period. Holy shit.
Only two and a half more months until school begins. It's weird that its creeping up so fast. Summer is just so awesome. It feels like I dont want school to come, but then I remember all the fun times that school entails, and it just makes me appreciate everything.
That's another thing. So many people talk about not being able to wait until August/September for school. I realize that they probably don't have as awesome as friends as I do, but I mean, it's all just so foolish. Looking back, every single one of us is going to miss at least some part of the summer. I just find it weird that pretty much EVERYONE was excited for the EPIC SUMMER OF 2010 and now few are happy that it's finally here. People are funny.
I was reading David's first blog that he finally decided to write. And he made a few points. Points that we've talked about before, but seem to just jump out at me as they're sitting in front of me. He's right about one thing (well alot of things, but one thing inparticular). All of us will go through schooling. All of us will pretty much kill ourselves because of it. Most of us will get jobs. Few of us will actually like these jobs. Skip 40-50 years and we'll be sitting in rocking chairs, pooping our pants while waiting for the next check from the government so we can go get groceries that take us 2 hours to get because the speed limit is just too darn fast. This happens to all of us. Like the constants in a science experiment. The rest is up to you. Life is what YOU make of it. Life is not going to suck because you have 3 exams in one day, because your boss wants you to work Saturday, because you get your license taken away because you drive so damn slow, or because your other half cheated on you. It sucks because you choose to let shit like that bring you down. Life is someone taking a cheap shot to your gut and trying to take all of your shit after the worst day of your life. How you think you can respond to that is up to you.
I got out of my car after getting back home from Mike's tonight. When I looked up, I honestly thought to myself about how I had never seen that many stars in the night sky before. It was just so...spacious. I would never guess that I would see something that beautiful in the place where I was. Maybe its a sign to everyone that you can find the best things in life in the most unexpected places. Like your own front yard.
I have less than two and a half hours to sleep. But I really wanted to write all of this for everyone. Everday (literally), someone new tells me how they are reading or have read my blog. And it makes my day. I appreciate anything thats said about it. I just wanted to provide a quick holla before I hit the sack. Goodnight.

I've Got Some Friends, Some That I Hardly Know

I don't know why I'm writing this tonight, when I'm tired as balls, as opposed to last night, when I couldn't sleep, but I think that it takes about 24 hours for things to really sink into my head. Anyway, a few of us went to Tony's last night after our plans were sabotaged, and apart from some really immature prank calling that was fun nonetheless, a lot of talking was done that got me thinking (24 hours later, of course). Someone mentioned that the high school I went to was full of cliques and such. And then Tony told me of the clique that he thought I was apart of. And he was right. I would always pride myself on being legit friends with almost everyone: the basketball team and most other atheletes (douchebag or not), the drama kids (I just wanted to be on the Student News), those ridiculously smart kids from NHS, and people who were pretty much normal (I liked them the most). But I guess from year to year I migrated towards hanging out more with one group to another, and the group I hung out with my senior year was my defining clique, I guess. Luckily I met Phil and Jake my junior year, and I've been in pretty much the same clique since. And frankly, I don't want to leave this group. We don't take shit from anyone, but we're not gonna mess with you if you don't mess with us. Except for Tony. I can't make any promises with him. Plus we hang out everyday, as Mike stated tonight. Maybe its because we don't have anything better to do, or maybe we're just too good for anyone else. Yea....I think its the first one, too.
I decided tonight that I loathe fake people. Not just hate them. Loathe them. Luckily there have been no incidents with that lately, but I kind of just thought that up in my head just now. These type of peeps need to take a bow out of my life. "Hey, I'm going to act all friendly and close to you at first, but I'm really only out for my best interests." Good Riddance (And not the song, fake people shouldn't be associated with a great song like that).
Remember all my whining and complaining about Dave going back up north? Well if I'm not mistaken, he'll be home in 5 days. Boom. He also needs to start his blog. You can't just set one up and not write anything. That's rude.
I don't think I've talked to anyone from St. Ed's in about a day and a half. That is a record. And also needs to end.
Man, my last post was depressing. That's the last time I stay home for a night. I had work the next day, but from now on, I think I'll just go out regardless. I can sleep when I die.
I want a frickin awesome dog when I move out for good. Like everytime I see a good looking one, I'll start the thinking process, and then I'll rememember that I don't want this place to be 101 dalmations, because this is America, son. I read a book recently about a super intelligent dog that nods and shakes its head and stuff like that. That would be bitchin.
Be yourself. Stop trying to model others. It only makes you look bad and people assume you have a low self esteem. Which would be true. And don't think that others won't notice when you copy them or do something just to be in league with them. People aren't stupid. They sure act like it, but they also have the capacity to be smart sometimes. So be yourself.
I'm so tired. I can't even read what I'm typing anymore. Time for bed. Nighty night, world.

Hiding

Hi. I can't be too sure why I'm still up... I'm running on three hours of sleep, I did nothing but sit (Lexie would be proud) all day, and I'm about to pass out right now, but just can't. I'm in that phase where I want it to be any time except right now. I wish it was tomorrow, hanging out with the guys all night. I wish it was last weekend, with Techfest, Kelly's get together, and just spending time with the guys in general. I wish it was two weeks from now, jamming out to Third Eye Blind in a mixed up state of mind, with Dave back. I wish it was still my senior year, with so many friends, parties, and just having the time of my life. I wish it was September, hanging out in the apartment all day, exploring our lives at night, relishing in having my freedom back. Too much wishing. I guess I'll have to stay right here at the moment and wait until the morning comes for this weird phase to pass. Maybe I listened to way too much Kid Cudi today.
That has to be it. Kid freaking Cudi. And "Pursuit of Happiness," that song about how he'll be fine when he achieves happiness. I mean, come on! That guy has one of the most recognizable names on the planet right now. He has....everything. If a guy like that can honestly say that he's not happy, what does that say about the average person? Maybe he just smokes way too much weed...yea that's definitely it.
In the meanwhile, I decided to creep the living crap out of my own facebook. I looked at all of my pictures, videos, notes. Man, have I lived. But there's also plenty more living to go.
Also, a couple of days ago, I had a dream/nightmare. I was at my wedding. But there wasn't a bride. Not like she had cold feet, like there just...wasn't a bride. I don't remember if I had to choose someone, or if I was just stupid enough to throw myself a bride-less wedding. I have no idea how to interpret that. Should I get my butt out there and find someone (I mean, I'm 19, I have a ways ahead of me)? Should I wait it out (hopefully not til I'm 40), so there might actually be a bride? Not sure. I think I'll know when I feel it. That's my two cents. I think I'm gonna try to sleep now...

Techno Music

So I ended up going to Techfest yesterday, and not Saturday. Basically, it changed my life. I think going to Techfest is something that every human being has to experience once in their life, like how people talk about going to Alaska.
I mean, take all that I'm about to say as more than "Oh, it's because he was as high as a kite," because I'm being serious. Everything starts with the bass. The bass was everything. You could see the rhythm of the bass in everyone else around you. It was like a trance. Everything that you did...spoke, walk, think...can't happen without the bass. Like I said, it was just...everything. I can't wait to go again next year.
Even better, the night before, we unleashed the Amigo for the summer season! I don't think I've had a better car ride since last summer. Plenty more to come this summer. Plus, you know the Amigo's back when you have whiplash.
So today is June 1st. May is over. I can't believe it. I'm not entirely sure if it went by slow or fast. I just know that it feels weird that its over. Maybe it's because the times really are changing. I start my job for real tomorrow, I have to begin to try selling my car, and the roomates and I have already begun our adventure looking for furniture and accessories for the apartment for August. There's a lot to look forward to, but there's just as many responisibilities coming this way to. And here...we...GO!

The Adventure

This is the middle of a hectic weekend, so I'm going to try and keep this short and sweet. But most likely, it will end up being long, since a lot is on my mind. The biggest thing on my mind right now is why the hell the Internet is being gay and I have to write this blog on Microsoft Word and copy and paste it when the morning comes. Not cool.
Also. For legal purposes, from here on in, anything I have said or will say about Babies R Us is only MY opinion and NOT the opinion of Babies R Us.
The concert was fun! Of course I got completely stupid right before, but it made Take Me Home Tonight SO much better of a song than it already is. But the after party wasn't the biggest bash. I'm pretty sure everyone was just exhausted from the concert and wanted to go home and sleep. I felt the same way.
Today (well, "yesterday" since I'm putting this up tomorrow), I was supposed to go to Techfest with Dragan and Ricky, but Ricky had to work later than expected. A part of me is almost happy that I didn't go, since tickets, gas to get down there, and devices that cause unsoberness would have taken 50 bucks out of my wallet. I guess that "part of me" is growing up. Take note, world.
Instead of getting stupid at Techfest, Mike came over and we went to workout at Phil's. I wonder how happy my body was, knowing that it exercised today instead of decaying in downtown Detroit. Anyway, Mike and I had a long talk about people on the way home. Man, I love that guy. No homo. I don't know what it is, but Mike and I just GET people...who each person really is, who they pretend to be, and why they do what they do. It's certainly not the main reason why we're best friends, but it definitely gives us something better to do in the car than sing horribly and air drum to all of our favorite songs. Maybe the main reason why we're friends is because we are both very complex people, but we're complex in the same way. I bet there's a much deeper explanation to all of this, but my mind can only take so much. Maybe I'll figure it all out one day. Maybe we both will. Anyway, even though a lot of people think otherwise, kudos to him for making the decision to stay home in the fall. I can't think of a better instance of somebody sticking it to The Man.
I'm glad I cited Mike and me as just being complex in the same way, because I don't want anyone thinking that they got hoed out on the complexity factor. Everyone is complex. ERRone. I think that it's just when you find someone as complex as you are, and for the same reasons, that's where you can start to define and measure friendships. Someone that you can relate to, basically. I think anything after that is just gravy.
Reading this whole thing over again, I've come to realize that I use way too many "maybe's" and "I think's." Not just in this post, but my entire blog. I THINK that this proves just how uncertain and crazy life is. Like riding a roller coaster blindfolded. I would really like to try that someday.

Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

Um. Hi. Had to go back to see when my last blog was. I didn't think yesterday was really worth writing about, but looking back on it, I did learn a couple things:
1. Macgruber was one of the stupidest movies I have ever seen, but funny nonetheless.
2. My brother is a damn good baseball player.
3. What I always thought was true. Brandon is, by far, the happiest kid on the face of this earth. Yesterday, he won the citizenship award out of his entire school. But it was mainly for being the "happiest kid I have ever met," according the principal. Can't even think of the last time I didn't see a smile on that kid's face. Smiles and laughter make the days go by easier. Thanks for making life better, one smile at a time, kiddo.
Today was a genuine summer day. I played tennis, disc golf, and pool (which was inside but just shut up) and am probably turning more and more black skinned by the day. Also, a couple of friends and I had a quick conversation about people who have changed, but it stuck with me for the rest of the day until now. I learned that there is a large, thick line between maturing, and losing the ability to have fun. Before, I had always thought the two coincided with each other more than just with the term "growing up." But I learned that while everyone matures at one point or another, not everyone keeps that special "fun" factor with them. I wish I could be like Brandon, and keep being like how I am now forever. But no promises can ever be made. "Traumatic events rob us of our innocence," a good friend once told me. Until then, we can only make the most of our time. So go ahead and cause a scene, pull that prank, ask her out, for fuck's sake, take that chance! It may be all that you have left.
Tomorrow night is Round 4 of Denny's. Bob said we have to bring something to read to present to everyone. I always save this kind of stuff until the last minute. Maybe I can squeeze in a little diddy in between work, napping and other things. And this weekend should be dank. Although I'm done with math classes, I know that Eddie Money concert+pregaming+after party=awesome Friday. I'll review my hypothesis and get back to you concerning the validity of my calculations on Saturday. Until then, toodles.

I suggest we learn to love ourselves before it's made illegal.

Sup. Sooo I officially got the job at Babies R Us and my orientation starts Thursday. Apparently I'll be staring at a computer screen for the majority of it. So its like my informations systems class all over again. Swell.
Went to coney again (what is it with that place?) to say goodbye to Dave as he leaves for the land of dead bears and trees with nice asses (inside joke). Godspeed for two and a half more weeks.
Also, lesson learned for the day is that people usually don't have it as good as they appear to be. After several talks with several people, I've noticed that there's always something that you haven't learned yet about an individual, something deeper and darker, but also the same thing can help you grow, as well.
I've always believed that two people can talk about anything, I mean, its our God- given right too. But it seems that no matter how close people are, there are always some things that never get brought up in coversation. And I'm not talking about a girl telling a random cashier just how many guys she's slept with in the last week. Take me, for instance (I mean, its my blog, why not make it about me?). I seem to have a different friend to talk to for every problem I come across, a different friend for every deep, in depth, heart to heart talk that needs to be had, or a different friend for all the weird feelings and thoughts I have. Some people I just feel more comfortable talking with about certain topics, and other people for other topics, and so on. And now that I think about it, I wouldn't have it any other way.
Jacob starts his job today. If I lived in Cali I would prolly fuck with him at work. And Jordan seems not too optimistic in the A's. Sam and I share similiar viewpoints concerning our TV in the fall. I'm glad.
Aaron has a baseball game tomorrow. The last game of his I went to, the coaches got into an almost-physical argument about one run. One freaking run. In a 10 year old baseball game. I'm not too sure what kind of father I'm going to end up being, but if its anything like that, I would like to apologize to everyone (and especially my kids) right now.
It also seems that there are a lot of dates this summer that signify change, such as prom, and certain people's 21st birthday (and not just because of drinking). It should be interesting to see how life plays itself out this time.

The One Thing That I'm Missing is in Your Eyes

Pretty good weekend. Partied with Tony and his college buddies down in Ann Arbor. Good to know that my tolerance still sucks. Happy 21st to Kelly (well, its tomorrow, so not anymore), it was good seeing the girls again. Before the celebration, there was Senior Night at SKY. It made me remember last year when I wrote that letter to my mom and read it as part of my speech. So much bad stuff occured that weekend too. I got "fired" from AMC, I went to church completely hungover from the previous night, and yet seeing that look on my mom's face after I finished the letter made everything better. She kept that letter. I don't know if I should ever read it again.
Also, went to coney with Mike and Dave (who are finally back from the Land of Canadia) and let's just say Dave needs to jump on the horse tomorrow (and also make a move). Best of luck to him.
Watched most of Just Friends today. Great movie. Great soundtrack. Looked it up and put some of it on my ipod and listened nonstop. Thus, the title of this blog entry.
Apparently Jake needs to be chaufeurred around town due to his latest run in with the popo. My response to everything is that the weather is starting to heat up enough so we can put the top down on the Amigo, overfill the back with people, and listen to techno while speeding at 3 in the morning. That car's been through a lot. It deserves one last good summer before its off to Craig's List.
So is it possible to miss something or someone that you're not even sure exists? That's really all I got for my deep thinking tonight. Not enough on my mind, I guess. Holler.