But I'll Learn to Get By....On Little Victories

I have been on top of this lately. Maybe I won't die this semester. Maybe.
Well mainly I can afford to be here because
1. I guess my Psych teacher doesn't press the textbook too hard on us.
2. My Accounting book still has not come in the mail, so I'm still going to have to use my brain even more in that class.
3. Facebook has gotten really gay lately. It's like staring at a blank monitor forever, waiting for something to change. So dumb. I would delete it, but frankly, its my only means of connection with certain people.
Well not much has happened in two days, mainly because its a Monday and Tuesday. So basically....school.
I found out that I have a 4 day weekend coming up! But it would figure that there's like 3 parties I got invited to, and they're all on the same night at the same time. Timing. It sucks.
The lobby of the apartments on campus is playing (500) Days of Summer tomorrow. Since I have not seen it in...say...2 months, I will most likely be in attendance. I would like to talk about a few scenes in the movie that are meaningful to me.
Firstly, I really like the scene in the car where Tom asks Summer "What are we doing?" I think its such a big deal to me, because I always seem to be in that shitty spot where you like someone, but you don't know whats really "going on" at the moment, or what the future has in store for the two of you, and whatever. Sometimes, its best just to confront them. I mean, it doesn't work out for me ever, but you're not me, and you should be thankful.
Also, as sad as it is, I really like the part where Tom finds out that Summer is engaged. That whole 4 minute segment is just incredible. Initially, its awesome because it starts with the whole "expectations versus reality" thing. Amd that ALWAYS happens to me, and reality is the one that blows, like 98% of the time. And then Tom storms down the street, and just...stops.....I don't know....I could just feel how devestated he was. Mike really likes that part to. I'm not surprised. Haha.
Since we're on the topic of him, I really hope that medication is working...I haven't heard too much from anyone back home lately.
And speaking of needing medication...I had this really bizarre thought on the night before I left. After I said goodbye to everyone, I felt that my life was just complete...like I had did what needed to be done. I felt like I had already made an impact on so many lives that the plane I was going on the next day could go down, and I would be....content. I told a few people about this and got very mixed reactions. Basically, that it was depressing as fuck, or that it was a good thing. Luckily, I started thinking about things that I HAVEN'T done yet. I haven't had a legal beer yet (a few illegal, I must admit), and I haven't watched any of my 5 best friends get married, I haven't watched my little brothers grow up into the gentleman I know they'll be, I haven't see Blink live (I laughed out loud typing that one), and I mean....starting a family would be pretty cool.
This is making me dig deeper. Hold on.
In early March of this year, Lauren Roche, an old worker, but more importantly, a friend of mine, passed away by her own doing. She was 21 when she passed. I cried for the whole day, and I didn't know who to talk to. She was so young and loved by SO SO SO many people. I'm not trying to sound like an infomercial or like I need sympathy, but I just need you to know that if there is ANYTHING that EVER makes you think about doing something like that, please....hold on. Sometimes people say that there is someone out there that feels just as you do in your darkest hour...that's not true. You are you, and your thoughts are your own. I will not give you the "light at the end of the tunnel" business, but I WILL promise you that there are ALWAYS people out there that you will take a piece out of when you leave this world. A substantial piece. One that's not worth taking. Hold on.
The sad thing about being at school is that I almost never have the opportunity to look up at the stars as much as I could at home. Whether I think its nice that someone you know is enjoying the same great portrait, or its just good eye candy to me, I will never know. I just know that I miss stopping in my tracks and gazing for minutes at a time.
Alright...bed time. Thanks for putting up with my shit again.