If it's not you, I've learned to sing, "Evermore, rejoice!"

I had a dream a couple of nights ago. I've learned that that's one of the best starts to a good story. Unless it's Tony saying "So I was waist deep in this chick the other night, right?" Hahahaha.
Before I get into the dream, I guess I could start on some background of yours truly. When I was younger, like 8, my dad got me really into the good music, aka anything that comes out of the 90's. Matchbox 20, Goo Goo Dolls, Chili Peppers, The Wallflowers, along with the great one hit wonders: Eagle Eye Cherry, Semisonic, Del Amitri, Deep Blue Something, and a crapton of others that I can't think of but you can feel free to comment because I love to talk about music.
Anyway, he would always play it around the house or outside in the garage. I got really into it but one band that he really got me into was Third Eye Blind. Of course I heard all of the regular hits that everyone has heard, Semi-Charmed Life, Jumper, Never Let You Go (Slow Motion if it makes you think that you have some ground to stand on). But when I was about 11 or 12 I heard almost all of the first album they released and then some of the second album. It was good music to me, but 11 (or 12) is such a young age to grasp subliminal and abstract things like the meaning of lyrics and another nonsense. 
That being said, the rest of my core teenage years consisted of punk pop bands like Blink and Gob and other bands that I still really enjoy to this day. But one day when I was 17 (weird that I still remember this), I was driving in my car on the way to Phil's house and I heard Jumper on the radio. I thought, "Whatever happened to those guys?" and went on Itunes where I listened to the whole third album they had released 4 years before. Man did I miss out on that. Needless to say, I got really into them.

I want to go back

One day in senior year, my good buddy Jeff told me that 3eb was playing at his school for free. I peed and then told him that I'd make that 2 hour drive. Shit. What a great show. Senior summer, I got a few of my friends into 3eb and we've been jamming hardcore ever since.
It's one thing to hear a catchy song. Its another thing to hear a catchy song that you can actually relate too. Something like being in a completely sexual relationship and thinking that you've fallen in love with someone and having to come to the realization that you were just not meant to be with them. And then having to know that you'll have to be just friends with that person for the rest of your life, and the only thing you could ever do will be to either look back in regret or to look back and smile. I kind of just threw a few song meanings together right there, but you get the idea. 
One warm November night here in Austin, I went and saw 3eb again with a few friends. GREATEST SHOW OF MY LIFE. We ended up being about 10 feet from the actual stage, and I'm almost positive that I was the only person there that knew every song. When they started playing Semi-Charmed Life, Stephan (the lead singer) dove into the crowd, and than this happened

That's my hand he's holding. You can tell by the wristband. Simply incredible
I honest felt drunk, high, alive, or any other feeling that you could put into words.
So anyway, I had this dream that the band pulled up playing one of their songs in a convertible in one of the parking lots at my school. I had a talk with them and they were impressed by how hardcore of a fan I was. I woke up so bummed, but I thought it was cool that the dream felt so real. Honestly.
Now I've decided that I'm going to campaign for them so tour next summer, and to especially make a stop in Austin. My friends will be visiting next summer and if we could align the two events with each other, it would probably amount to the greatest night of my entire life. People in Austin are great but no one really has the same musical tastes as me here. Me and my friends back home listen to all of the same things.  It sucks when I'm front row at a show and they're up there in Michigan where concerts are expensive and rare. I want the two worlds to collide. The potential of this night next summer plays over and over and my head everyday.
Well that's the end of my blabbering about that.
Other misc facts:
On Monday, my psych teacher told each of us to describe ourselves in one word. Everyone else's was normal and, to tell you the truth, kind of boring. I was the last person, and I said "Above." She said "Above what?" and I said "Everyone else." Everyone thinks I'm a tool in that class now but I thought it was a pretty good joke.
Relating to that, I've been thinking more and more about my tattoo that I want on my chest. I thought up something like "Rise Above and Endure" or "Rise and Endure" or "Endure and Rise". You get the idea. I still don't know so feel free to comment about that one, too.
Most of you probably already know this, but I walked into the girl's bathroom yesterday. Yeah, I peed, blew my nose, and washed my hands, before I walked out and noticed that the men's bathroom was across from me. Such an "Oh, shit" moment. Luckily, there was no one near me. And yes, I realized that there were no urinals, but I thought it was just a poorly built bathroom, ok?
My phone stopped charging over the weekend and I had to get a new one today. The lady asked if I wanted my contacts transferred and I obviously said yes. But now, when I look at them, I realized that I don't talk to most of the numbers in my contacts. I totally regret transferring them. It's better to just start new and retrieve all of the numbers of the people that you actually talk to on a regular basis. I might just delete all of them and consider that. 
I also have put next semester's housing on the back burner. Now that I know that I'll be signing a 12 month lease for a place, I need to get back on the horse.
I also had a really crappy moment this weekend when I realized that all of the bad things I've done attain only to things that I'll have to make up for in the future. I'll get more into this next time, since I've managed to have written another novel for you. That's me in a nutshell.
I hate when people call me stupid. It's part of my superiority complex.
It's 3am, goodnight.

Isn't it messed up, how I'm just dying to be him?

I didn't even have to use my AK, I gotta say it was a good week. 
I'm beyond what anyone would call exausted. Port Aransas was fun besides the weather on Tuesday, SXSW was insane. We even saw the Strokes for free

Besides that, there were pretty cool houseshows around the city that friends threw. It sucks that everything went by so fast and that I have a crapload of homework tonight and tomorrow. 
I realized that with the schoolwork and monetary obligations and the pressures of keeping my grades up and having to find the perfect place to live next year and not being 21 for the next ten months and a bunch of other things that I don't even want to think about, life isn't going to be a cakewalk for a while.
On the brightside, I talked to an uncle of mine at a family gathering today, and he said that he could very well hook me up with an internship at a law firm in Austin for next summer. The experience and the few lines that it would add to my resume would be freakin amazing. Its going to be time consuming but I'm still pumped to finally fit in with the "its all about who you know" crowd.
I'm tired and I need to get homework done so there won't be any misc facts tonight. My bad.

Everything good, I'm white boy awesome

Finally getting out of here.
Austin is a fun time when it keeps you busy and all of your friends are still in town. But not when we're on break and mostly everyone has left town. If I was rich I would have gone home for the weekend for my buddy Mike's 21st birthday and been a witness to this:

Yeah, I wish that was him too.

But at least I get a week off of school. I took an managerial accounting exam on Thursday and I pretty much got my ass handed to me, just as the rest of the class did. 

I'm headed to Port Aransas with Hunter and Jacob tomorrow morning. My aunt was telling my to just take it easy, that she knew I was going to drink, but not get wasted. But honestly, all I really want to do is relax on the beach for a few days, tanning and sipping a Dr. Pepper. Nothing else.

Telling someone your real feelings isn't as easy as it looks to be in the movies and tv shows. Sometimes enduring how things are in the present may be easier or more important than jeopardizing the future. 

I mean, other than that one minor thing, life is good. This should be one of the best weeks of the year coming up, and I'll be home in less than two months (hopefully). 

I finally watched The Social Network. Pretty good movie. It wasn't as good as everyone said it was because thanks to those people that said it was like the second coming of Jesus, there was no way that it would measure up to my expectations (well, second coming of Jesus may not be the best of analogies, but I don't think people read this blog to find out my exclusive religious views. I don't want to get myself in trouble, anyway). But it was still an above average overally dramatized depiction of true events. 

I had this thought a long time ago, and I may have even blogged about it before, but I'm going to start writing scripts for this television show that I want to make about a large group of people that have been friends for a long time and their gatherings at a bar every Friday. I want there to be like parallel plot lines between characters, while at the same time, keeping it funny with random stories from my our (my friends and I) lives that I could easily incorporate into the show. Just like random stories and stuff. And every story could be filmed as a flashback that could be shot at a different location, like say, for example, someone who works in the daytime at a boring job but gets put into quirky situations that lead to stories that he can share with the group at the bar on Fridays. I have only a few ideas in my head at the moment that I don't want to share yet, but I wish that I would have the motivation to get started on this before I graduate, because this is where all of my free time is. This summer would be a golden time, too.

I think I just went through all of my misc. facts, so I'm going to shut up and let everyone have a great spring break. Or if it's already over, enjoy school.

So we were an accident, you'll always be my favorite one

I'm at the tail end of an long weekend full of friends and fun. I'm kind of brain dead and tired at the end of it all but I'm trying to be as coherent as possible at the moment.

Thursday and Friday were good times but Saturday was a crazy awesome mardi gras party with all of my favorite people.

I wish this night didn't end

The party was packed the whole night, and everyone that we wished would show up, actually did. It was a real growing experience, because it was one of the first parties in Austin I've been to where the point wasn't to make a fool of yourselves or "meet" as many people as possible. It was about being with people that you love to be around and just living in the moment. More people need to have nights like these. It would be so much nicer of a world to live in.
Hunter, Jacob and I went apartment hunting for a little bit. We didn't make much progress but we have a good idea of what we want. Hopefull things will work themselves out and we'll get the place we want for the price we want. Maybe we'll go big......

Yeah. I didn't think so either.

Well spring break begins on Friday, and today is technically Monday, so that means in only a week until we'll be in Port Aransas. Awesome.

I guess a good topic of discussion for tonight would be the opposite sex. And girls.

Its true what a lot of dumb people say. You can be yourself around someone you like, and yes, she will probably like you for being yourself and not haveta to go and make things so complicateddddd. Avril aside, sometimes there are things that are out of your control that might make the situation a little difficult.

One of the worst feelings a guy can go through is knowing that his role in a girl's life has already been predetermined by external factors that occured long before he ever had a say in the matter.

(For all of you really smart people: It sucks when she's had a boyfriend since way before you even met her)

I think its just the helplessness involved is what makes the situation the worst. If you had a chance and messed up along the way, that's on you. But knowing that there's nothing you could have ever done just....sucks.

I don't really know if I have the qualifications to be speaking on the matter. I just know that sometimes it irks me like it might some of you. I have a really funny picture of Tony that most people have already seen that I was going to use for comic relief. Guess that just went down the drain.

Misc facts...

My grandfather recently had a heart attack (he's okay), and it made me think about how our lives move so much quicker than we anticipate it to. Cherish everything.

I have two tests, two papers, and a letter to Congress standing in the way of me and spring break. If you ever need to find me this week, I'll be in the library.

My mother is about to send me a check so I can pay for spring break and such. I swear, as soon as I get that check I'm

• getting a clean haircut (to grow out for the summer)
• getting my Dashboard Confessional tickets (front row, or I'll throw kittens)
• eating at a restaurant other than Whataburger
• going to Target and buying cheap t-shirts and flannels

I'm really tired and there's no one left on facebook that I want to talk to. Like I said, find me in the library. It's going down.

For Lauren (the fog)

The clock just hit midnight.
It's March 2nd.
Exactly a year ago, an old co-worker of mine, but more importantly, a good friend, passed away.
Exactly a year ago, I cried more than I have since elementary school.
Exactly a year ago, part of innocence was robbed from many of us.
People come and go from our lives as we endure on through this fog. Some of them come back later on to reminisce the great times we had, and possibly make plans to cherish even better times to come. Some arrive unexpectedly, out of nowhere, it almost seems. These people tend to leave an impact on us, as they can sometimes disappear and appear again and again until we know for sure that they were meant to be standing next to us, holding our hand and leading us through the fog. And some people leave when its not their time. They let go of our hand grip before we are ready to let go, and we feel lost and unaware of the next step to take. Luckily, we remember these people and the words they taught us to keep enduring.
Endure. To sustain without impairment or yielding. It's easier than it looks on a computer screen. That's what Lauren has taught us, and it's what she would want us all to do.
"The rest of those who have gone before us cannot steady the unrest of those to follow."
-Finding Forrester
Oh, Lauren. We'll remember the great times that we were blessed with her beautiful smile, her happy mood, and her amazing talent of always being able to have fun. I know I will.
Lauren may or may not have been the first person close to us to have left us. However, she will most certainly not be the last. Through the endless fog, remember to hold on to everything: to your family, to your friends.....to yourself.
Remember Lauren.
And to endure.

Wiping before you poop

I feel like if I start the first blog of the month on the first day of the month, then I will be more prone to blog throughout the month and I'll get my blog views back up to where it was over the summer. Don't think I don't check that stuff. I have a rep to maintain.
More importantly, recent occurences and their aftermath have caused me to mature a little in the last couple of days, and I feel like this level of maturity is going to maintain itself for a good amount of time. I'm still going to be the obnoxious prick that you all make me out to be, but the choices that I make will have more thought put into them, and much less action.
Choices. The choices you make dictate what kind of life you lead. So make the right ones. A choice can turn the radio station from 88.7 to 99.5 (everyone back home gets this and knows that its GAY), but a choice can also land you a life in prison. I feel like I'm coming up short in preaching, but just do yourself and make the right one.
I seriously cannot wait to go apartment hunting this weekend. I've found some nice places for the 3 of us and I kind of just really want to not be in school at the same time.

Finally learned how to put up pictures. Here's a gem.
The human brain doesn't fully develop until you're 25, but I find it kind of funny that most of us are able to think so abstractly before our brains our fully formed. But I feel like most adults don't have some of the abstract thoughts that younger people do (ignorant). Our generation puts so much emphasis on the future that its almost excessive. We constantly worry about what classes we're taking NEXT semester, where we're living NEXT year, what we're going to be doing LATER in life. Sometimes I feel that some of the adults I talk to are just standing on the escaltor of life. Or some of them are caught looking back to the past too much. Nostalgic. That's no way to live a life.
Sleeping, too. I've been getting less and less sleep lately since that 14 hour abomination, and I'm kind of enjoying it. What's the point of life if you're told to try and be asleep for 1/3 of it?
I've been listening to Billie Holiday quite a bit lately. I recommend it. I kind of makes me want to slowdance with someone really slowly. When you're at least over the age of 70. I hope I never forget to do that.
I really hope that my mother oor any of her family see this, but I've decided that I really want a tattoo across my left pectoral. Right now, I want it to say "Never Forget", but in reverse so its legible in a mirror. The quote is just a prototpe right now, but if you want, comment on the facebook post for this with a good quote. I want it to be along the lines of "Never forget where you've been, but never look back." Maybe condensed a little or switched around, but holler at me if you have any ideas. I appreciate it. Or maybe "Remember how hard you've worked." I'm probably just talking nonsense right now.
I went into this post having a lot more to write down than I actually did.
Misc facts....
Some girl on the cheerleading team still has my Blink 182 poster and hasn't made any attempt to return it. I mean, come on now: you know you don't like Blink, and if you do, you're doing a really crappy job of hiding the fact that you do.
^I'm not racist.
^^Well.....
^^^A little.
GIVE IT BACK
I have a psych test tomorrow. I have 8 lines of notes regarding the material needed to be known for the test. This is where Bo Burnham comes in with the remark that I have less lines than Whitney Houston's coffee table.
I feel like I have more to talk about.
I'm going to make a another post.